My parents have gone out to a movie so it’s the first time I’ve had the house to myself in I’m not sure how long. I’m celebrating with a bottle of sangria and a whole plate of roasted summer squash. I’m feeling very pretty today, not in the sense you think, I feel pretty inside. Maybe it’s the sangria slowly warming me, shedding the neurotic layer that I’m so familiar with. My anxiety is deep rooted in me. It’s ingrained and it’s been learned. Today I feel hopeful though. Things are looking a little brighter, my ideas are a little clearer, I can go a whole day without collapsing halfway through from utter exhaustion. I feel a dull buzzing in my mind and it’s building momentum. There’s a sizzling in my veins, like electrical currents covered in dust. Someone flipped the switch and they are crackling awake slowly but surely. My agitation is growing though, my patience is dwindling. If you get in my way, I will not be polite. I feel ruthless and sparkly. This time I will conquer the world.
Some may say I’m just in an upswing, be careful what you throw yourself into, be careful where you go. It’ll end, it always does.
I say don’t rain on my parade.