I can’t write poetry before one am

Endless nights of eyes screwed shut

I obsess, I digress from my sleeping patterns

The beasts from my innocence are clearer to me now

revealing themselves as worry, doubt and instability

They gather around my bed, pulling at my hair, grasping for my eyes

They establish a stronghold in my body

They make my heart pound, thoughts race, pulse beat through my fragile skin

deep blue through pale 

Sleep won’t come easy for a while

I wrote this at two am while I battled my anxious mind. It seems every time I lay down it’s the same. Check the time, toss, turn, repeat. Then my brain starts moving and words start coming to a head. I drive myself up the proverbial wall if I don’t get the ideas out. They’re pretty at first, anxious to be out of the tangled mess I call a mind. They’re inpatient though, if I don’t work fast enough they turn to acid in my brain. Corroding the thought process, filling me with apprehension. So, as usual I am up by nine with coffee in hand waiting for my day to begin.  

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3 Comments

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3 responses to “I can’t write poetry before one am

  1. I can really identify with this. My ideas start flooding my brain just before i go to bed and i just have to get my words down there and then, so i end up staying up very late, and when it gets to about 2am, i look at the clock and think “Well, it’s not worth going to bed now”. I have to be up by 5.30am as my carers come early so i normally fall asleep in the chair for a couple of hours between 2.00am till 4.30am! Fortunately this isn’t every night! x

    Like

  2. Illicit By Nature

    So powerful and emotive. I can’t stop reading it

    Like

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