lips stained, coffee and nude lipstick
every word, thought, sound is more balanced then I ever remembered
let this symmetry last a little longer
I can already hear the depths calling my name
Today looks like a brighter day, brighter than most I’ve seen in my whole existence. I know I have hit a high, I know there is a ceiling. What goes up must come down. It’s stuck in my head and the present is slowly slipping away. I often wonder what life would be like if happiness didn’t scare me. If I didn’t have to constantly keep one eye fixed behind me, paying close attention to how far away the darkness is. It never plays the same trick twice. It can creep in, slow as ever, til I’m engulfed with no warning. It can come in screaming and heavy, pressing down on me like the weight of every bad choice I’ve ever made. Feeding off every pain I still keep locked up, ever desperation I’ve ever followed through on. I often wonder what life would be like.